Wh not to say, What you have to understand is...

[micky]

What you have to understand is...

It's really important for Americans to understand...

Both of these common expressions are insulting. They imply people are
not understanding something, instead of just not knowing about
something. The first is stupidity, the second is mere ignorance.

Also they try to put the speaker in a superior position to the listener,
as the wise one, not merely the more informed one. That is also superior
but not as much so, and one can easily become informed but becoming wise
is pretty darn hard.

Even if people you know are being stupid, you should pretend they're not
and explain what needs explaining without implying they've failed to
understand something that they've already had explained. In the case of
masks etc something that's been big news for 8 months, but it applies to
all kinds of things with all kinds of people, including children.
Children get the gist of the insult when people insult them, even if
they don't complain.

[hub...@ccanoemail.ca]

On Mon, 16 Nov 2020 10:20:14 -0500, micky <NONONO...@fmguy.com>
wrote:

>What you have to understand is...
>
>It's really important for Americans to understand...
>
>Both of these common expressions are insulting.
>

I fail to understand what is insulting about either of
those two turns-of-phrase.
Whereas, saying that " you fail to understand "
could be interpreted as mildly condescending,
which, I hope, you'll endeavor to understand. :-)
John T.

[micky]

In alt.home.repair, on Mon, 16 Nov 2020 10:49:34 -0500,

hub...@ccanoemail.ca wrote:

>On Mon, 16 Nov 2020 10:20:14 -0500, micky <NONONO...@fmguy.com>
>wrote:
>
>>What you have to understand is...
>>
>>It's really important for Americans to understand...
>>
>>Both of these common expressions are insulting.
>>
>
>
> I fail to understand what is insulting about either of
>those two turns-of-phrase.
> Whereas, saying that " you fail to understand "
>could be interpreted as mildly condescending,

Exactly. My phrases are insulting for the same reason. On a topic
that's been in the news for months, or other topics that people normally
learn about in their day to day life, suggesting someone still doesn't
understand when he's had so much opportunity to learn to understand.. is
insulting.

And I suspect very strongly that those who use those phrases don't get
results as positive as they would with other words.

Even if people don't complain, I think subliminally they resent it.